- allistic parents who have autistic children: i'm not going to tell my child that they're autistic because maybe then they'll be able to function normally.
- those autistic children: i feel like a freak because i'm not like everyone else. i think there's something wrong with me but no one will tell me what.
Anonymous said: So I am a recently unofficially diagnosed Aspie. The person who helped me figure it out has a degree in psychology and I fully trust her judgment. I don't want to be officially diagnosed, because even as high functioning as I am a diagnoses might interfere with my chosen career path. I want to try to meet up and sorta network with other neurodivergent people, but I fear that being as NT-passing as I am I might not be welcomed or something. It's probably an irrational fear, but do you have advice
I do not think its necessarily an irrational fear! There’s a large stigma against undiagnosed individuals… that said, I think its a silly standard that has no place in the community.
The stigma was born as a defense against NTs pretending to be on the spectrum for whatever reason, be it attention or simple undereducation on the topic… But I don’t believe people who are on the spectrum should be forced to suffer for someone else’s actions.
As you said, you do not want to have to deal with the possible repercussions of having a diagnosis, and that’s perfectly understandable. And to diverge a little to those who are wondering how to be sure you are on the spectrum without receiving professional assistance in a diagnosis: research and understanding is the best— and then, trust those who know you (to some degree). The best way to verify something is to try and disprove it. If you can’t disprove it, you’re left with the alternative!
For you dear anon, my best advice would be to stay strong. Don’t let the fact that you’re NT-passing stop you, and don’t let anyone tell you that its any way less than or better than anyone else. Everyone’s struggles are there own, and there’s really no use in one-uping others, so ignore the people who try.
Furthermore, a lot of people who are “NT-passing” have given a lot of work and a lot of anxiety and stress into learning those traits. Even diagnosed I still hear “you’re so lucky” but when I first received diagnosis the paperwork was quite brutal! Poorly dressed, does not care about personal hygiene, flat affect, no expression, cared little about interviewers, interupted… I mean it was harsh! They were like “Woah this chick is bad at this” but now I’m being told that I’m so lucky that I’m high-functioning.
I also like to accept people into the community who aren’t on the spectrum but aren’t quite as “socially gifted” as others, as we can share a lot of the same problems. A lot of people are neurologically diverse, even if they’re not qualified for a disability. c: There’s a spectrum far larger than the autism spectrum!
High and low functioning labels are at best pointless and at worst costly red herrings distracting us from what’s important… acknowledging that every autistic person is an individual with their own set of strengths and challenges, and getting them the support they need to deal with both.
It’s interesting that neurotypical children come with just as wide a variety of intellectual and language capabilities - yet we don’t need to classify them as either high or low functioning in order to cater to their needs.The Problem With Functioning Labels (via autisticfandomthings)
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